Rectification of errors

I have made far too many errors recently namely judgemental errors, planning errors, execution errors.
Its time i sit down with myself light a cigarette and have those long conversations i usually have with myself.
Now to analyze what went wrong we have to consider a few things said to us and filter a few. It is very important for me to take motivation from the spiritual uplifting of my friends and to swallow the bitter criticism from foes.
Sometimes we wait till the end for our hand in poker when we get it we bet all our chips it so happens we often lose. Now the moral of the story is if we have to win a hand we can win it with a meagre pair or a royal flush. So our luck will be the same when we have 10000 chips or 100 chips its the confidence that matters.
A big stack translates higher confidence, a big dick translates higher confidence, a big body translates higher confidence. A big heart translates highest confidence.
Suddenly as the smoke of death passes from my nostrils i think of Mamata Bannerjee singing "bhi shyal obharkaam".
We might laugh at her, call her sleazy, despise her but we know what she did no one else could.
*stubs the cigarette,lights another one*.
Ya so where were we, ya spilled champagne and fresh green teas, a welvome change.
So in the words of Mr Bonguly "if mamta can do it arrey why cant i, afterall i was the persen born to led.
I have been reading quite a few old blogs of mine some of them still amuse me while the rest of it disgusts me.
Now lets see what my future looks like lets just dream for a while, i plan to be as rich as i can afford to be and by hook or crook ill manage that. Now the bigger question what happens after that, as we all know i am no baniya so i obviously wish to be prodigal, the luxuries of good living is all i wish, a life which is better than now is being rich for me .

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Boulevard of broken dreams

Today i am reminiscent of the days when we were asked by our teachers, friends, relatives "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and we used to answer with all our innocence an astronaut, a pilot, a doctor, a beauty queen, a racer.
Little did we realize that we dont have the intelligence to be an astronaut to us space will remain a vast continuum of our own stupidity, we did not know to be a doctor we need "courage" or simply put balls which we dont have, by the time we aspire to be a pilot suddenly a fat pair of glasses stand between us and our dreams. We did not know that to be a beauty pageant our parents appreciation of our looks wasnt enough. We did not know to be a racer racing on the rx 100 wasnt enough.
Hereby we enter the boulevard of broken dreams. We realize that we are just like everyone else, the greatness we wanted to thrust upon us goes out like a sour bile vommit.
Oh yes we do feel fresh like after every vommit we feel we have unburdened ourselves from our own pathetic secretion.
Many people like to call it a reality check, many like to call it as being a loser, but this is what life is for most.
However i do believe in the winds of change, i dont beleive in destiny as it can be tampered with and people use destiny more as a defence mechanism to turn a broing conversation interesting.
There is no point in writing this article except for the fact that it serves as an introspection tool for the pathetic loser who knows what i am talking about but will continue in self denial or for the the victorious champion who knows what i am talking about and wishes to add that extra paragraph to this article.

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Threshold of uncertainty

2012 begun as dreadfully as the years before. Exams where success was expected i failed, where inheritance was expected the judges coffin got nailed, where rigged hands got busted......business to out of business....well lets just say not much happened in the last 23 days of this year.
I reached a stage where your own mind becomes your best friend, you start talking to yourself while sinking in self pity. Then comes a time when you stop thinking about your present and future and start drinking the alcohol of past, and as they say wine gets better with age so did my memories of the past.
To be honest i dont even like the people in my present life, their faces with the scornful contempt disguised in a cloak of sympathy.
The wounds of faliure have become so flagrant i cant even hide myself from my predators.
I sometimes wish i could run into oblivion, far from the madding, crowd.
However the leash of responsibilty does not let one escape, i have the feeling of a caged animal kept for
public amusement.
Keeping faith in onself is a medicine for despair not for something which is beyond repair. Lol.

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Refrain from pain

Laughter is the best medicine, humour is the best painkiller. Laugh yourself out of the trouble is my motto now. 2012 started as horribly as it is expected to end. The year begun with an explosion of faliures, despair,loneliness, and worst of all contempt disguised in a cloak of sympathy for all of the above.

Why do us guys have to be so emotionally constipated because it only leads to accumulation of gas and trouble everyone around us. As a result we get scornful remarks such as "shob thik hoye jabe" "bhogoban ache", and the worst part "ami bujhi".

Sometimes in life comes a time when you just want to slap the blind faith you have in yourself with a pair of eyes so that it can see "all is not well". Wish that blind watchman from 3 idiots had eyes or that prodigy of a child who was given life after hearing all is well was deaf. I feel a strong reverence for Joy Lobo but, smart guy made a smart choice.

We spend so much time in dressing ourselves as overachievers that we forget that when we are naked we look uglier than socially estranged pornstar, when we fail in our exams we realise the school geek we laugh about has a better future. When we are reprimanded by our parents we come to think that "bablu" who always listens to his mom is not such a sissy afterall.

A masochist is one who likes pain to be rubbed only because he can sink in his own self pity and derive nothing but pleasure out of it